Regret, and forget. This is what my music tells me.
“I’m sorry, Yoriko.”
His words would just strike through my heart like an emptiness spear. It would wound not my body but my own existence. Sakurai, he is not at fault. He simply likes another girl. It just so happens that it wasn’t me. I have to accept this.
Somehow I’ve convinced myself that I do accept this. I did not cry. Crying wasn’t my thing anyway. All I can do is shout. My beer drowns my throat, my rock music drowns my room. Maybe this is the difference between Sakurai and me. I know he likes sentimental songs. I even teased him for liking such.
“You know you can’t serenade someone with that anymore. Go with the times, man. Those stuff are quite embarrassing.” I explained.
“Who cares, I like what I like.” A simple answer from him.
I guess he’s right. Both in songs, and in love. “I like who I like”, I guess, as I pour down more of this stuff into me, slowly hallucinating a world where I couldn’t have done what I have done today. I drink another between night and blue, within darkness and colors, the hard, loud music of my soul would tell me things I wouldn’t understand at my state. This is how rejection feels like, eh?
Sakurai is my friend, and nothing changes that. Sakurai reassured me that. And so this pain is of just one day, or two. Tomorrow… wait… maybe the day after tomorrow. Once I’ve sobered up away from my alcohol. Once I’ve turned down the volume of this stereo. Once that happens, I can walk up to his house and wake him up again like the usual. With my loud bass headphones, I would annoy his sleep with a fierce banging from my favorite rock track into his ears. He would wake up, with that same angry expression on his face that I liked. And I would shout with my own angry words:
“Morning, damn sleepy head! Get up you fool!”
(to be continued.)
There is something I’d like you to know. I am bluemist’s ex-boyfriend… at least, I’d like to think so.
Wait… before you confuse yourself, bluemist is not gay. bluemist was actually a girl. She was the original. I’m terribly sorry for hiding this all along, although I’d expect the current readers of this blog wouldn’t have caught her from years ago. She did this anime blog for two years (May 2005-Aug 2007) This site was actually a team blog for a bit. We were sharing this space. She was the “tsundere meganekko”.
I tend to like the “indie” side of entertainment. This is where creativity flourishes as opposed to the sometimes-generic packaged entertainment of bigger, more corporate companies and franchises. My likehood of Vocaloid music stems from that same vein, and as such, it is exciting to follow them from their humble, less popular roots and then bursting out into mainstream popularity like a whole forest of trees. This is the modern doujin revolution as I call it, where you create and share your ideas as much as the world allows you to. Blackâ˜…Rock Shooter started out this way, from a series of drawings, then a popular song, and now it shot off into the mainstream with an OVA, a game, and this anime TV series which I am reviewing. The results, while satisfying overall, are mixed. I’ve prepared my guns and gone over to the Otherworld with this one.
2012 is a leap year, and that means there’s an extra day in the love month, which only happens every four years. What better way to celebrate this special day than through a third batch of love songs? Here I am again with a handful of nice sentimental music from Vocaloid! So if you are in the mood for a little easy listening while you fall in (or out of, or away from) love this Valentines season, please do have a gander at some more of the best Vocaloid love songs. This is probably one of the most abundant years, as there are a lot of sentimental songs done by our resident electronic vocalists Hatsune Miku, Megpoid Gumi, and Kagamine Rin. As usual, if you donâ€™t like their roboty voice to ruin your listening pleasure, donâ€™t worry, because I also linked â€œutattemitaâ€ versions sung by some of the best amateur singers around Nico Nico Douga. Hopefully this will make you feel inspired and in love, or maybe depressed too, as some (actually, almost all) of these songs revolve on unrequited feelingsâ€¦ like mine (sob). Haha, anyway here we go again.
If I see you in my dreams, were you really that important?
Or “are” you really important? At least, in another universe.
This was a question that popped in my mind when I started recollecting that dream.
That dream I had of you. You stepped into my conscious and declared your love for me.
With a gift that transcended the history of my past.
You held it in your bosom, and shoved it into me as if it came from your heart.
I met you after college, but this gift was a memory from my high school.
That is the mystery I started to explore.
What if the reality I experience now can transcend to another reality?
And that dream represents that other reality
The other reality that I may have met you in high school
And you confessed to me after college.
As I wake up from that dream, I instantly felt happy.
Though sad as it was only a dream.
The reality is much much different.
This reality we’re in, where you friendzoned me 4 years ago.
I have not seen you since. I only see you in social media.
But you were as wonderful as before.
And you were as wonderful as in my dream.
Therefore you are as wonderful in that parallel world.
I wish we could transcend time and space.
So that I can travel to that alternate universe.
Or even if it’s impossible, let me live through this life with proof… that alternate universes do exist.
With all the possibilities of experience, consciousness and existence.
That an alternate “me” can exist, with an alternate “you”.
So that at the very least, even with this miniscule and weak existence of mine in this world.
I can take pride in saying that I had you in a dream.
I had you in that universe.
And we were there.